March 19, 2014

Ran two miles on the cross-trainer at the Y while running my lines. Makes me feel productive, and I go a long way without thinking about running. The desire is not to come off tonight the way Act III and IV come off, an agony of confusion and called-for lines. Some of the actors can barely get out a single speech. I try not to be provoked. I try not to look at my watch. I try not to think of the lines at the end of the acts that I have never said because we have never gotten to them. I try not to want to punch people in the face for having wasted their time and, therefore, everyone’s else’s. The kids never speak to me. I don’t know if it’s because I’m old, or because they’ve worked together and not with me before. I was on the other side before, I suppose, though I’ve never been much of a backstage schmoozer.

Aridity in general life. Cartons of plants appear on my porch. Planting them will give me joy.