January 15, 2014

Full moon last night, blue and penetrating. Was seized with the most agonizing muscle spasms, first in the legs and then in the belly. Couldn’t get off the couch to get water, which is what I knew I needed. Cursing, madly, loudly. Much exercise, not enough water.

I think I cured my garden melancholy by getting out the plant catalogues and beginning to make selections. The time I spent thinking of the reasons why a garden in the new space is impracticable is interesting to me, for THIS space was in every way less promising those years ago. The impulse to prepare oneself for struggle is good, but when that impulse exceeds evidence, the result is premature despair.

E and I are assigned to write Comprehensive Exams. I file it away for a calm moment; he gets on it instantly. I remember those days!