Roof Drama

 

August 1, 2022

Gout, after a lull, migrates from second toe of the right foot to big toe of the left. How does it make these decisions? 

Today was the day when my home repairs would finally be at an end. Text message late last evening that materials were assembled and Will would be here at 9:30. So, of course, at 8 AM Ace Handyman services phones and the dispatcher lady says, “It’s going to rain today, and Will thinks it would be better if–”

“Nope. Gotta happen now.”

“But if it rains it will do damage–”

“There’s a hole in the roof the size of me. Let’s not talk about damage–”

“But, if he has the tiles off when it starts to rain–”

“It’s not going to rain.”

“The weather report–”

“No–”

“A deluge by 10 AM–”

“No, no, no, no, now–”

“We really believe–”

“It’s not going to rain–”

Somehow, though right, I lose the battle, and we reschedule, against a fresh barrage of objections from me, for August 16. I plead every pleading, but of course, there’s nothing they can do. I scarcely need add that it is now 5:10 PM and there has not been a single raindrop fall upon my house. I aim the fan and take to my bed.

Just before taking to my bed in exhausted despair, I decide to salvage something by taking the Toyota to be inspected. Toad-boy at Valvoline says “we can’t do that today” and shows me where the computer says, “Not eligible at this time.” My renewal date is September, so I knew I was eligible and that Toad-boy typed something in wrong, but he was not having that. I phoned the NCDMV, miraculously got someone on the other end, who shared my consternation, saying “There’s nothing wrong on this end.” Realized that her Lowland Hillbilly was as hard for me to understand as the Hindi you get with most help centers. Return to Valvoline with the truck, which sails through. Toad-boy stares daggers at me. The inspection people apologize because one of their inspection gadgets has disappeared. Then I take to my bed. . . .