August 3, 2022

The state of suspended consciousness I enter after an inflicted cruelty or defeat ruled most of yesterday. Coming out of it was distasteful, as though my perceptions had been altered in a dry and lifeless way. The voice I recognize as THAT voice spoke with unusual urgency toward night “Trust me, David.” My bitter response was “what choice do I have?” but the part that was not bitter won the hour by the slightest sliver.