Bobcat

 

August 6, 2022

Hiroshima.

Low level of nausea throughout the day. 

You can manage to be sub-conscious for protracted periods of time. 

Watching a nature show on TV. A woman had rehabilitated a bobcat that had been injured somehow, and with a forest ranger was returning it in a carrying cage to the New Hampshire woods. It was making terrible noises, which the woman tried to interpret as healthy indignation at confinement. But when they opened the door, the cat hesitated. It came out crippled and spazzy,  dragging itself along the ground trying to attack them. The ranger said “It she rabid? Shall I put her out of her misery?” The woman, backing away in apprehension, nodded “yes.” He shot the bobcat. It seemed, for a moment, the worst thing I had ever seen, all hopefulness and kindness turned to disease and malice. I wept for a long time. Maud the cat sat on my lap looking up at me. She’s used to this sort of thing by now.