September 23, 2015

Woke in the wee hours with a a turbulent mind and a sour stomach. Did get back to sleep, dreaming then of a play where Act II was a giant blue pool in which there were dozens of tiny seals, and you got to enter the water and play with the seals.
   
Useless rehearsal way out in the mountains. Who knows why?
   
Faced with a phenomenon in class of two students (both women) who are belligerent without apparent cause, and whose “questions” are meant to challenge and delay rather than clarify or enlarge. This has been rare in my career, and each time I have not understood it. First, I have no idea what I do to provoke it. Second, I wonder what possible profit can come out of it for the belligerents. They look foolish every time (perhaps they think they can win the wit skirmish, but they never do); the class resents them and I detest them. I detest them for wasting time and marring the shapely artifact that a class hour can be. One is an aging high school mean girl who is used to causing disruptions by playing games on the computer and then loudly lamenting that she has not understood what went on while she was doing so. This must have worked for her in the past. The other is a hard-favored lesbian who thinks there’s some sort of power realignment when you say, “So, you see how X, Y and Z–“ and she can pipe up at the end,”I don’t see that,” never a question (I learned after many moments of patient reiteration) but always a groundless contradiction. Her motives are rather clearer. She hates me because I am a man and an authority figure. She believes she is storming the walls of the patriarchy, her weapon mule-like contradiction. I should suggest the siege might go better if she were, ever, right. Maybe this is what woke me at 3. If so, they have a little victory.
   
Throb in the toe, which I resent because I have been good about eating nothing, let alone what might offend the gout.
   
Sky threatening rain. I hope it carries out its threat.    

Cantaria’s “Fascinating Rhythm” this morning’s ear worm.
   
The day can but improve.