November 11, 2021

Shopping at the Farmers’ Market today, I was asked twice if I were a Veteran. 

Went to Jesse Israel and bought a replacement for the bear-annihilated birdbath bowl. Could barely lift it. Imagined it sitting in the back of the car for all eternity. But, step by step, it got back into its pylon, and now supports its burden of peanuts. The jays rejoice.

If someone asked me if I were sad, I’d respond, with some surprise, “hell no.” But I do feel moments of the most piercing grief, which being both specific and unendurable, is a different thing. Grief is the emotion over which one has no control. At least I don’t. Also, it’s my reason to assert that not everything about us has to do with evolutionary necessity.