August 27, 2014

Slept late. The cats were standing accusingly over their bowl. Good classes yesterday, one on the Bhagavad Gita, the other on Blake’s paintings. Meeting in the evening with W. I was sick with rage. Turns out he was sick with apprehension. After long, detailed (and overdue) explanation of his situation, I realized that the one thing I was determined, dead-set, frantic would happen–the signing of a contract–would not happen. Of course. I should have seen that from the outset. Nevertheless, everything else proceeds well enough, and they begin moving in this weekend.  If I actually see a mortgage (or is it rent?) check in my hand this week I’ll know that it turned out the way I think it did. Because of his dire financial situation, he is considering bankruptcy and cannot afford to have a visible asset, so we will proceed as though he’s renting from me. He does all repairs and upkeep. He says he is solemnly serious about wanting to own 62, and his sweat equity supports that. Renting a house with the renter responsible for everything, with the renter fixing the floors, re-painting, landscaping, doing massive repairs on his own dime, seems to me ideal, and so my rage ebbed away. He told his wife he was afraid that I was going to end the deal and throw them out. It crossed my mind, A little information earlier on would have kept me even from the thought. He said he is one who keeps his troubles inside. Not the right tack, in this case. I wondered what bravado led him to ask for all this. I respond well to such things, but it seems bold, now, beyond reason, considering that no legitimate lender on planet Earth would  take him on in the foreseeable future. I guess he had the measure of me. It is conceivable that I am being monumentally had, but I would know that soon enough, and the property is not only still mine, but brought into marketable condition without my lifting a finger. If I am good at anything, it is in going the way the Lord seems to be pushing, and even when that has gone awry, I haven’t cared much.