August 16, 2014

The screen to my all-in-one desk top went out, though the computer itself was still alive. Tried everything I knew, and then, despairing, I downloaded my files from Carbonite onto a laptop so I might keep on working. After four hours of downloading, I found that I was locked out of the file into which the documents ad been downloaded, and blocked by the computer from changing the sharing or security parameters of the file. “You do not have the right to do this.” I downloaded onto ANOTHER lap top, thinking it was an issue with the machine. Finally I figured I should have hit “download” rather than “back up.” Usable files did appear, but very laborious to re-save and use. I could not buy a new screen for the old computer (nowhere to plug it in) so finally I bought a new computer, onto which Owen transferred the necessary files, and into which I have been pouring the files and programs that could not be restored in that way. In short, two days of rage which amazes me, now, for its ferocity. The conviction that everything would turn out well did not, somehow, mollify me. I reminded myself of my father in his last days of paranoia and blind will. Must work on that. Must understand why I think the world will listen when I tell it, “Do not test me here.”

Lovely party at Russell and Maria’s to celebrate progress on their home. I was not feeling well, and almost sagging from exhaustion. Maybe it was two days of rage.

Attended the pointless but harmless faculty meeting. Enjoyed sitting with my colleagues.

Planted gentian, acanthus, a royal fern.