August 26, 2014

Woke without having slept long enough. I think the disturbing silence of the night woke me. Last night a frog of wondrous loudness called from the near trees. I thought at first it was a siren.

I see no way Will and I can close this week. He swore he would come to see me last night, bit of course he did not, nor does he answer his phone. In all the negotiations, with my letting him into my property to do whatever he wanted without a red cent changing hands, with my foregoing a down payment so he could do that, with my paying the utilities and receiving no income from the property for eight months, the one and only thing I asked is that it all be finished by August. I almost wish I were the kind of man who could say, “all right, deal’s off,” and change the locks.

Sending out checks in all direction, supporting this and that good work, money to friends getting married faraway: I think I am that agency which channels my resources to others. I think at the moment that’s my only function.

Screw up in the Humanities schedule, which necessitates the explanation of same to every single individual student, as no one is listening when you give the explanation the first half dozen times. They are so worried about asking the question they don’t perceive it’s being answered.

Watched the Emmys last night. Wanted to stab the people who were going on about dresses. Bet I wasn’t alone.

You, allow me to love you.