May 2, 2014

Furnace woke me into the surprising chill of the morning. Vertigo at first waking, holding onto the walls as I moved. The house is still a little strange, the perspectives into the yard by night yet a little unsettling. Went to bed very early last night, and there were deep thicknesses of dreams. In one I bought a sapphire for Aunt Marian. DJ and I saw Captain America: the Winter Soldier. Liked it , and thought its message– that some dark individuals and institutions use chaos, secrecy, misinformation in order to frighten us into compliance with their wills– one worth hearing. Tried the King James pub afterwards, liking that very much indeed. Blake was there, looking spectacular, surrounded by women, one of whom he left with. The cleaning lady and the yard boys all came yesterday; I feel very much looked after. The back yard at 62 is the forest floor thronged with fern and wood hyacinth and violet that I strove for all those years. I doubt I will ever recreate it here. Ireland in the spring. It’s hard to look at.

Students frantic at their exam yesterday, wanting comfort without responsibility. Among the things for which I have no patience. They resent having to remember things.