January 4, 2010

Disturbing dream: I was a very old man, and I was supposed to have died. I actually felt consciousness leaving me in the dream, and the light going out. But then I revived, and began to do energetic deeds and get into mischief. I thought the deeds were proof that I was alive again, but the people around me took it as some last spasm before death, and stood around with the grave cloths, figuratively, in their hands.

First Beautiful Johanna rehearsal at the studio. It was beastly cold. Besides that, I have–as I have noted with shame on several occasions–an aversion to people at large in my personal space, and the rearranging and manhandling that accrued from the rehearsal disturbed me acutely. I will go back in the morning and set everything right. The important things– the characterizations and the master of the lines– were quite good, quite satisfying. Drew was there, snapping photos. Jolene made sure the heaters were on. People are more willing to do things for me than I am willing to ask it of them.