January 28, 2010

Thursday night Johanna the best one yet, in terms of performance and of audience. Full house. Adam and Casey still trying new things. It is a matter of pride to watch my five actors strengthen their muscles in my gym. . . well, that image sounded better before I typed it out. I was waiting with phone in pocket to see if there is a party tonight, but they didn’t call me. Probably had enough of me with my words in their mouths and ears night after night. Moon rose full in a pale blue sky, softened and blurred by clouds now. Sad because they didn’t call me. . . too tired to go if they did. . . one side of me perpetually making excuses for the other.

Casey said tonight will be closing night because tomorrow the snows will come. Whatever betides, I have a community to thank for this success. The seats have been full; the comments (in my earshot, anyway) laudatory. The internet sniper has been on top of it, of course, he who calls himself Minnehaha and “Theater Fan” and the like, who has something snippy and denigrating to say in those little comment boxes online media provide. Some enemy I don’t remember making. Envy and cowardice about balance in him, hiding behind anonymity and just clever enough to make malice look like a kind of judgment. One must put up with this, even as there are ticks and chiggers in the best tilled garden.