November 30, 2018

Some time given over each day to locating the new place the cats have chosen to defecate. This is a disorder I didn’t expect so soon.

Tumultuous days. J with Title IX proves an unexpected ally, or rather proves that justice is her goal rather than the automatic preferment of females. She helps me rebuff my “anonymous” attackers (they were never anonymous to her) and advises me that legal action may be the best recourse. I assume, as I always do, that the attack is over, and legal action may not be necessary, however much it is deserved. Both sides revile her, one for doing too little, the other for doing too much. That I’m not fired–or even inconvenienced–infuriates one side. That I am bothered by this at all infuriates me. I told her I understood how she could not win, and will not add to her afflictions. Attacked also by a local Trans woman (and former student, whom I evidently failed) who took correction of a personal error on her part as an attack on transgendered people everywhere. I told her she should learn the meaning of “transphobic” before she used it in a discussion that had already left her in the dust. She went ballistic. She has the charming idea that she can get me in trouble, get me fired, end my reign of terror over those in my power, and that it won’t matter that everything is a lie, because it is the age of Me Too and the woman must be believed.

Sang for World Aids Day and the hanging of the Quilt at the Masonic Lodge. Sparse, dedicated crowd. Useful chorus rehearsal, Barry in the next seat furiously refusing to acknowledge my existence. People don’t realize how quickly determination becomes absurdity.

I’m fighting with too many people. I’d let it be a lesson to me if I had been the active agent in any of the encounters. I merely turn and strike back after repeated blows. Something I do infuriates people. Certain people. An onlooker may see me doing it on purpose. I don’t think so.

Semester coming to a close faster than I anticipated. I have met with my last class. I think it is all well and everyone learned joyfully, but wait for the complaints to come in from one who was looked at funny or thought she heard a wrong tone from the front of the class. It is like China’s Cultural Revolution, Rule by Those with the Least Understanding. I do sort of see the attraction. How wonderful to explain away starvation because the dish was not set before you in the way you had imagined.