January 25, 2018

Rose, after extended and lovely dreams, feeling quite well, except for an achy, itchy leg. I see that the diseases and infirmities of age will be attended by isolation– if I had died on day #1 of this nobody would have found me yet. Still. . . one moves forward, providing as one can. I think of the flurry of hand-wringing and sighs and telephone calls when someone in the choir gets sick. Someone ELSE in the choir. I suppose I project a different aspect, somehow.

Final Title IX report from the university watchdogs, absolving me from violation of THAT, whatever else my sins might be. The report makes it unmistakably clear that it was a set-up:

In addition, the student group itself provided a wide range of disparities about Dr. H’s general behavior, but mirrored accounts of discrimination on the basis of sex. They often shared items with me that had nothing to do with Title IX and that seemed frivolous in regards to the creation of safe spaces vs. academic freedom. Although all of the students were in one or more of his classes together, none of them reported consistent behavior by Dr. H in regards to any discriminatory remarks or language. I found the accounts of the seven students left me with more questions than answers. For example, despite having a written charge of specific behaviors alleged by the students, when questioned in person, the stories did not match up and/or were not consistent. When I questioned students about these inconsistencies their responses tended to be, “Oh yeah, that’s right, I forgot about that”; or “I don’t remember exactly”. While both of these responses are reasonable expectations given the alleged behavior occurred over the course of a semester, it lacks support to meet the preponderance standard specifically related to Title IX. Given some of the stories shared with me by the students and the language used, it is very possible that the students believe faculty should be absolutely objective at all times in the classroom. I find this expectation counter intuitive to the tenants of academic freedom and a liberal arts education.

I figured this was pretty much retribution for my catching them at cheating (the plaintives are EXACTLY the same group as the cheaters, plus one bewildered boy) , and though I thought I treated that with saint-like forbearance, they clearly thought retaliation was necessary. The report goes on to say that, basically, I’m a lout, if a lout within the law. What a waste of time it all was. What hurts is the image of them getting together to concoct a story that they assumed would do me real harm, when there has never been a moment when their welfare was not central to my concern. Sometimes–nay, often-- irritating their privileged and ignorant sensibilities is central to their welfare, if they could allow themselves to believe it.

Q has been blabbing to everyone–or at least someone-- the disasters NM has been going through. Maybe it doesn’t matter.

Wiley has agreed to do a blurb for NSDL. Now I’m consumed with anxiety that he may think it’s stupid.