July 18, 2015

    Me to Steven at Lowe’s: “Saturday is OK for delivery, but it has to be in the morning. Any problem with that?
    “No problem at all. First thing in the morning.”
    “Guarantee?”
    “Guarantee.”
    Saturday morning: it’s the delivery guy at 10 AM” “We’ll be there between 4 and 6.”
    “I was told it would be in the morning.”
    “We don’t have anything in our paperwork about that–“
    ”I was guaranteed that it would be in the morning.”
    “We don’t have anything in our paperwork about that.”
    Sigh. Recognition of inevitability. . .

    Me to the barista at Starbucks: “I’ll have a venti lemonade iced tea, black tea, no sugar.”
    Her: “Would you like green or black tea?”
    “Black.”
    “What size was that?”
    “Venti.”
    “Uhm, did you want that sweetened?”
    “No.”
    “What’s your name?”
    “David.”
    “Pardon?”
    “David.”
    “It’s really loud in here–“
    ”DAVID.”
    Shrugs. I show her the name on the credit card. She shrugs again. “I don’t have my glasses.   
    I take the pen, grab a napkin, write down the name “David.”
    I hear her turn to her colleague and say, “People are so impatient anymore.”