April 17, 2014

Chill moonlight on the brown grass. . . blue, I suppose, if I reported what I actually saw. Were I in the front yard I’d see the moonlight glittering on the mugs I set over my plants to help them endure the cold. Planted a wisteria tree yesterday, the most expensive plant I ever bought.  It was a bare stick, so I figured it wouldn’t mind the cold. Circe woke me by stepping claws out on the tender spot at the base of the thumb nail. Of course, when you shout the claw goes deeper. She disappeared in my moment of rage.

Moments of rage coming too hard upon one another. Maybe it’s the times and maybe it’s me. Too many people grabbing for more time or energy than you offered, yielding up less as a reward. Reciprocity is gone. I need new friends. . . I need to revise my personality. . . I need to find a retreat in the wilderness. . . something.

Our group has been among Avenue M’s best and loyal customers since it opened, and before that when it was the Usual, and last night we were denied seating, or rather told to wait until a table emptied. OK, but two of the three serving rooms were completely empty. I understood the impulse to close up the rooms and go home early, but you don’t tell a customer, any customer, that they can’t be seated when ten or twelve empty tables are visible. Or you do so only if you don’t care if they ever come back. The owners weren’t there or it wouldn’t have happened, I hope. I faced off with the hostess and we got our table, but I had to work too hard and there was no joy in it.

A sense of physical well-being makes a contrast with the grumpiness. I will try to bring the two in line.

Blazing cool afternoon. Starbucks coffee and gossip with TD, then to Phil Mechanic to tend the garden there. My mulching made it easy to get the weeds out, and, so far as I can tell, nothing was lost from last summer. Happy with that. Drove to Reems Creek nursery and bought a herbaceous peony and a purple baptisia and scarlet ice flowers. All went into the ground along with the hollyhocks I delayed planting because of the freeze. . .  Which also seems to have taken nothing. When I got home my housekeeper, who charges by the hour, was having a cigarette on the back porch. Now, do I mind if someone I’ve hired takes a break? Of course not. It was her own rictus of apology and excusing-making that made it look suspicious. She named a price to clean the house and I accepted it as reasonable, and if she gets it done in one hour or in three I don’t care, except that if it’s one hour I wish she’d tell me so I don’t have to think of excuses to stay away on cleaning day. Have eaten nothing and am not hungry.

Met my neighbors, Charles and Delight. They spelled “Delight” lest I should misunderstand that was really what they meant. We decided the trees that irritate me are their trees, so I’m very glad I didn’t have them cut down. Delight is the daughter of the good witch who used to live in the house when it was drowned in flowers.