April 16, 2014

Yard flooded with moonlight. New lawn furniture tossed by the deep wind. Gardens studded with mugs where I tried to protect the new plants (lilies mostly) from the sudden cold.

Lightness in my life over the Humanities controversy; I had thought we were arguing over principles of canon and pedagogy, and that battle could not be lost. But we were turning our backs on principles altogether in order to save ourselves effort, and flatter ourselves that what we know already is sufficient. We were refusing the charge by pretending to reform it. I understand. It is an old story, but one I didn’t recognize right away in this guise. I have exceeded the mark, and whatever fate that once excellent program suffers now, I’ve done what I needed to do. Will continue so. I think this is where the lightness comes from. A battle lost but irrelevant so long as I am whole. The lightness comes from somewhere--