June 6, 2012

The day is still deciding between dark and fair.

Jack’s birthday at Avenue M last night.

Was not offered the Howerton Distinguished Humanities Professorship. Though I knew this exact outcome at the outset, I decided to go through with it (as I almost always do) to give the universe a chance at surprising me. The university has held me–oddly, I think; maybe it makes sense to them–at arm’s length. I have not been chosen for tasks I was perfect for, and when I volunteered I was, almost without exception, rebuked. When the decision was too idiotic, I fought, which made me look like a boor. The university has never asked or wanted full value from me, which forced me to go and make most of my career in the outside. This is, ultimately, good for me, but perplexing. I am the most widely-known professor here, maybe that there ever was– except Bob Moog-- but all of that begins at the edge of the campus. This was not my choice. They had a Porsche in the garage which they never drove. There is, however, something to be grateful for. This ends all need of loyalty to the institution, either financially or biographically. It will be to me as I was to it.

The successful candidate has not been announced. Perhaps (grin on my face) it will be someone wonderful.

New furniture arrived yesterday. After the necessary arranging and rearranging, I think I have the living room in a state where I can stop noticing it again. Napped on the sofa. The love seat is still virgin.

Ray Bradbury is dead.