Haircut

 August 12, 2026

Read this on a community bulletin board online: “Use to stay at 84 Duckett Road, people living at this address is thefts. They stole my truck battery, Jack handle, tools, generator just to name a few things. I may be homeless but keep your hands off of things that don't belong to you.” These are sad times.

Hair cut by a tattooed lesbian from Johnston City whose favorite pastime is playing music with her fiancee. I asked her, “So, did you wake up one morning and realize you wanted to be a barber?” and she said. “That almost exactly how it happened.” English, of course, was her worst subject in school.