Alarms

 August 13, 2026

Slightly sick from lunch. Rye Knot burger didn’t settle well.

Dramatic night last night. I was writing when the “ping” of the house monitors when their battery gets low began to go off. The carbon monoxide monitor by the stairs is the usual suspect, so I began poking at that, recalling in times past there was a button I could push that shut it up without any change to the batteries, which I could never find. Didn’t avail– ping. . . ping. . . ping. .  so I went downstairs for the baseball bat I got to fend off bears, came back up and smashed it to pieces, then pulled it off its wires and hurled it into the trash bin. In a moment I realized it had not been the culprit. Brought the stepladder upstairs, found another monitor (smoke? Ozone? I don’t know) in the ceiling, mounted the ladder, pulled on the object, which was so shoddily installed it same off in my hand. That too went into the trash bin. THEN the security panel began beeping because it had lost contact with the monitors upstairs. Unplugged that until morning, when I phoned the Vivint people and told them to turn off the fucking alarms. They knew better than to challenge me. For an hour it was like a Laurel & Hardy movie. I’m preparing for old age, when I won’t be able to climb a ladder or swing a bat.