January 17, 2023

Hesitant to observe (the mischief gods may be listening) how much better I feel than five years past, perhaps ten. The instant debilitating exhaustion is gone. I’m not going to run a marathon, but I can get up the stairs without leaning on the banister at the top. Besides squeamishness, another reason why it’s well I’m not a physician would be that my customary advice would be “Go home and have a good meal. It will go away.” At the center of my life for a while was agonizing acid reflux. It went away. I did change my eating habits, but memory enshrines the moment when I realized I had not taken an antacid in six months. At the center of my life for a while were severe, painful, unaccountable muscle cramps, anywhere, everywhere, at any hour of the day. I had to be cautious picking something up from the floor or getting up from a chair or coughing too hard. Gone. My dreadful legs persist, but it is hard to imagine any salvation for them. I’m glad month by month when they don’t get worse. I have habitually ignored personal hardships as long as I could, assuming they would run their course. So it has been about 80% of the time.  The Lord giveth and the Lord allows to dwindle away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. 

Going through the ancient photos my sister sent of our parents. The grief is almost unbearable.