Fire

January 18, 2023

Fascinating Vestry last night. Ordinary & necessary business finished, we went into “executive session” to discuss weird attacks from two different quarters, which the discerning among us recognized as probably having actually one source. Malice intrigues because it’s time consuming and requires dedication and concentration. I tire of it before I ever do much damage. Not others, though. Nosiree. When we finally dispersed into the night, I noticed a fire on the porch of Zabriskie Hall. I ran toward it and discovered a homeless man (one known and familiar to us) had retrieved the cauldron used to burn the Christmas greens, gathered twigs and debris, and made himself a fire. . . on the wooden porch, under the wooden roof. 

“Can you help me get some food?” he said.

“Yes,” I said, “but first put out the fire!”

He was as out of it as any human could be and remain on two feet. As I approached he was pissing on the porch (I remember thinking I wish he’d saved it for the fire) surrounded by the bones of whatever meal he had just consumed. Several open bottles of the cheapest beer on earth gathered at his feet. I kept bellowing “Put out the fire!” and he kept asking me to help him find something to eat. I felt helpless, because it was clear he had no means of putting out the fire (having wasted his piss) and neither did I. Someone had called the fire department, who arrived pretty quick, and the fire was out quick, and one of the burly foremen was bellowing at him “Don’t you know this is a church?” The man’s answer was, “I had to keep warm!” A cop arrived, pulled him aside, began lecturing him on trespass laws with surprising gentleness. The homeless man had one hand and a peg where the other had been.  I suppose he’s in jail now. It was dark so we couldn’t see if damage was done to the porch floor. Drinks at Rye Knot afterward, where I bought a bottle of vodka and left it on the table. The fire-starter was as squalid as it is possible for a human to be. I do not think it is his fault. Homelessness is the one human ill for which there is a known, precise, and encompassing cure.