October 21, 2020

Walked along the river memorizing my piece from Henry VI. Like Romeo & Juliet and Midsummer Night’s Dream, the language is languishing, silken, exquisite, sometimes sharp and wounding as finding a dagger in your lover’s pocket. I stood by a wetlands pond and a little black duck came up out of the water and looked at me. I apologized for not bringing bread, but she didn’t look like she was begging. She looked at me and I at her, each wondering, I suppose, what it would be like. 

Kyle wants the men to do “Salvation is Created” for All Souls. First time I will have entered the church since February. Found places on line where you can sing along to the scores of Renaissance pieces. I’ve still got it, at least the lower register.

2020! Closed my studio and stopped painting (maybe). Went to Ireland as it was closing down. Retired. Retired with a  bitter taste in my mouth, which nobody wants to hear about. Sat behind castle walls because of Covid19. Did almost nothing of what I did before, but was tolerably (if not perfectly) happy. Realized I was born to be retired, the hours like red fruits hanging from a tree in a perfumed orchard. Grateful for my companion Maud, who is the one other visible soul in this house.