December 31, 2019

Brilliant last-day. The sky light milk poured into a saucer of lapis-lazuli.


Circe has cancer deep in her ear and behind her eye. The vet made the gesture of sending off a sample of weird tissue to be tested, but I’ve been down this road before. As long as this clean-out and excision lasts, she will be happy, and I will enjoy her. The next visit to the vet is likely to be the last. Yesterday, te day of all this information, was almost unbearable. Amazing how exhausting grief is. I went to bed before nine and slept until after seven. But Circe slept beside me for a little while longer. Have a big party tonight; am not sure I have the energy to prepare. After her painkiller, she lists a little to the side when she stands. I had a new vet. I think the previous one was sheepish because, though I told him it wasn’t, he insisted the problem was a reaction to fleas, and thus $1000 was spent curing the wrong problem.


Took an important new direction in poetry this morning at the café.


Have not to this hour given 2020 so much as a thought.