December 29, 2019

Saint John, Holy Innocents– I don’ know what today is. Holy Family, I think. Circe goes up and down. Added to her symptoms is ceaseless slobbering. I remember this is what Theseus had when he died. The knot in my chest is anxiety.

Baking, preparations for Tuesday night. Doing some writing.

Why is it I still think lesbians kissing in public are showing off? I started to say, “You don’t see men behaving that way,” but you don’t see men in Asheville publicly displaying physical affection much at all. A difference in culture, I guess. Gay men have gone underground here. We have domesticated. Gay women have not.

Here is the truth of my life, following me into another decade. (--too bleak to share--)I do expect some compensation from this, some gift from the Almighty that would make it all right. It would be hard to imagine what that would be. In any case, it hasn’t come.