February 10, 2019

Giant musical undertaking at church today– joined with a choir from Tennessee-- Mozart’s K 220 with a raft of kids. Climbing out of my sea of phlegm, I was in extraordinarily good voice. I’d almost forgotten that I can sound good. I was happy for that hour or so. Interesting to sing under unfamiliar conductors.

Winter returns with some vengeance.

I think of myself as a placid, peaceable man, but then I begin to number the people– just at the University-- with whom I seem to have had a bitter quarrel at one time or another– the entire Drama Department, Ileana, Brian, Jill and the Title IX office. In each case I want to point out that someone tried to stop me from doing or tried to interfere with my work, and, after many exhibitions of forbearance, I struck back. Is it how it would seem to them? Ileana is long gone; the Drama Department is an irrelevancy. Brian is demoted. I want nothing from Jill but for her to leave me alone to do my work. Unfortunately, she has one of those positions where you can’t prove you’re working unless you’re wasting somebody else’s time. I should have awakened on the First Day and heard God say, “Tend my garden,” and I would have been happy. 

Not auditioning at HART tonight. Blaming the weather, but it may be I have said goodbye to all that. Would see Daithi and my heart would break.