Grand-nephew

 February 21, 2022

Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump– what would it be like to know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that the world would be improved by your vanishing from it? I dreamed last night of putting a hex on Russian war equipment, that nothing electronic would work. They’d charge into battle and a great silence reigned over the tundra. 

Vestry. Perrin spoke barely a word, in contrast to John, who held the floor, I would guess, 50% of the time. After every treasurer’s report I am reaffirmed in my lack of any interest whatever in accounting. How did my father do it? 

Call from Jonathan. He and Miriama are pregnant with a boy. He sent an ultrasound image. Confidentially, ultra sound images sicken me a little. As I thought of this driving home from church, the image came into my mind of a small boy with yellow hair and solemn eyes sitting on a porch swing. I realized this was my son, left unborn by the swirl of events. The grief and remorse of that moment cannot be put into words. Of course it is not my “fault,” but many thing not one’s fault nevertheless happened or failed to happen because of one’s choices. The sad little boy . . . .