October 13, 2021

No longer needing to rise at 5 for class, I forget that the hours of morning before daybreak are my favorite time. Rose today in the dark and took the Riverwalk. The river gleamed from the lights on the other side of it. Some botanical perfume that I couldn’t place suffused the atmosphere. A man slept on a bench with his bike tied by rope to his foot. As I turned to go back to the car, the birds began their dawn song. Light gleamed in the Phil Mechanic where my last studio was. It made me think again what a strange interlude that was, like a bad marriage, hopeful, dedicated, full of dreams, in extent of time and expenditure of energy indeed like a marriage. I do not know what possessed me. I wanted to be a painter. I did find the painter inside, but he had nothing to do with the world in which I actually live. So, again, hail & farewell to all that.

My flock of turkeys is down to seven. I sat on the back porch as they marched into the garden. They are very distinct personalities. One picks meticulously over a space another raced over on her way somewhere else. One flops down in the sun and takes a dirt bath in the ground I opened up, picking at only the bugs and seeds she can reach from where she lies. Some fly over the gate, some squeeze through the bars. One leaps to get berries and seeds just out of reach; the others let them be. Two fly into the low branches of a dogwood; the others do not.