April 25, 2020

Last night was the first I felt sad and lonely for reasons consciously related to the quarantine.

Dream that in a deep pool in the forest I found a small, magical fish. The fish was shaped like a pyramid. We communed magically (none of the magic things the fish told me made it out of the dream, of course), and then I left. I woke from a dream within a dream and the fish was telepathically asking me to save it from this old Japanese guy who had captured it. The Japanese guy had destroyed the pool, but I took the fish away and ran to a lake that was nearby, freed the fish. In the last scene, the Japanese guy was kicking around at the edge of the lake, naming the attorneys who were going to help him sue me.

Discovered that the idea to celebrate my retirement came from A, who suggested it to my chair. The department probably were going to leave it unmarked on their own. Wish I hadn’t learned this. But, oh well.

Thought at intervals of my cousin Eileen. She came into the world with nearly everything against her. Yes, I was mean to her for no reason. Who would have though it would take fifty years to worry about this?

Moving forward on Sam-Sam.