April 23, 2020

Woke from a long dream, one which renewed even after being interrupted by a trip to the bathroom. I had an eye injury, and was taken (by Pamela Myers, who knows why?) to a doctor in a gigantic mall– which has appeared as a locus of chaos in dreams before. I was surrounded by a clutch of retainers who had helped in the process of getting me to the doctor, somehow. When my eye was declared healed they all stood and looked at me. I said, “You expect a tip?” They all did. I took money from my wallet, and they all grabbed at it until nothing was left. Then they disappeared. “OK,” I thought, “find an ATM.” When I got to one, I saw that my credit card had fallen apart, and though I tried to jam it in the slot, it didn’t work. Pamela, who was meant to be my ride home, had disappeared, so I roamed the mall, unable to find a way out, unable to find anyone who would help me. I inquired at all the restaurants and little kiosks in the hall. One person pointed out that Pamela– who was meant to take me home–had been sitting at a restaurant with a friend watching the whole drama, chuckling at my consternation. I was confronting her as the dream ended.

Added to my note to my chair this morning: I haven't spent much time considering my own theory of teaching. Now, as I can look back at what it was I actually did, I realize that I had the notion that working to gain the deepest understanding I could of a work would enable me to transmit--through lecture and dialogue-- the deepest understanding a student could use at the moment. It is a bit oracular, but it worked. I present  what I have to say; students inquire and probe so that enlarges into what they need to hear. I have thought that being a true model of the disciplines I presented would go farther than any deliberate statement. I had the duty to know as much as I could possibly know, to  present the widest vista I could possibly present. . I realize how old fashioned this is: the model of the Upanishads, students gathered around the teacher's chair, listening. If I started again I would do the same thing. It was right. 

Contemplating O. He is a godly and devout man. I think I am, but when I meet one who really is, I am abashed. All Souls is lucky to have him for an Interim. I wish he could linger with us.

AGMC tried unsuccessfully to have a ZOOM rehearsal. We joked. We looked old and hairy.