January 20, 2015

Amazing dreams, which continued even after I got up to go to the bathroom and lay down again. I was supposed to read the scripture at church, but nobody had given me a copy of it, and nobody had a bible, and nobody could find it, so finally the stylish girl who married Ted Esker in high school–Joyce Cerneva–how did I remember that?-- gave me a sheet of paper on which was a cryptic message, and not scripture at all. It was a single line of a piece meant to explain how I had lost all I lost (I don’t remember what all that was) and most especially why Ellen abandoned me. Ellen was waiting for me in the street to confirm that the information I needed would be mine if I found the rest of the passage. She seemed angry that I asked her directly what the matter was rather than trying to find the mysterious excerpt. Off I went. The final adventure (some has faded since waking) was at a huge open air theater, where a sort of gay Native American celebration was going on. People did Eagle Dances and made magic potions, and we had sing-alongs, and I encouraged the man next to me in his hard-to-explain now visual experiments, and on a wall where I had gone to find a bathroom (the first indication that I needed to do that in real life) I found the passage. It did, indeed, answer my questions. I don’t remember what it said now, but the number 24 was extremely important, and was the last revelation or the last clue. When I started quoting it to people, they realized it was the answer to their perplexities as well.

My dreams are oddly rich in lesbians.

Made pea soup for invalid J and overworked L. I didn’t taste it. Hope it wasn’t nasty.