February 14, 2012

Lecture last night on the general agnosticism, or at best deism, of the Founding Fathers. Jefferson seems actually to have sat in the seat of the mockers. No surprises, except for the tart vehemence of their opposition to the things most Republican demagogues imagine that they supported.

Report from one of Sam’s students that I was “random and inspiring.”

Thinking of how quiet it is in the house without Titus. Circe and Maud are excellent cats, but reserved, cat-like, feminine. Titus was a boy, noisy and messy, and, I see now, the energy of the mornings. I don’t have to tread carefully in the morning dark, for fear of cat-vomit. I don’t have to worry about his surprisingly strong body blocking my way and pitching me forward into darkness. Nobody’s head to press into my fingertips as if I can’t possibly scratch hard enough. All sweetness and openness, like the twelve year old he is. I speak in the past tense as if getting myself ready for what I feel, in the light of past events, must be bad news.