October 21, 2023

L drove up from Atlanta through many traffic accidents and resultant detours. Dinner at Tupelo Honey (disappointing food, excellent ambiance, right on the street), drum circle, much family talk, finally, hours into the night. The play was the best it has been, K and S like dancers en pointe. The man behind me got every joke and murmured at every nuance. Very gratifying. Tonight is closing night, and I couldn’t bear to be there. Exhaustion, mostly of an emotional nature (unless it’s actually physical, which should be revealed in a few hours) kept me in bed until it would have been difficult to arrive on time. I didn’t want to see another meager house. Everything went splendidly. Nobody witnessed it. That about that.

Afternoon spent rehearsing with chorus. Socially it was pleasant, but there’s nothing in the program that should draw a person out on a winter night. We have done every piece multiple times in the past. Nothing new, nothing adventurous, nothing to suggest Christmas is a holy or miraculous time. I’ll have a Blu-u-u-u-u-ue Christmas----. W-- with the taste of a turnpike diner waitress-- insists that’s what our audience wants to hear.  We think of gratifying our audiences, but never of nourishing them. Of course the poll we all took is 60% to 40% against “serious” music. I look around my life in general and wonder how many times I have to lose the same battles. And why I keep trying.

Rumbling in the sky I took for thunder. 

Blaze of color on the hills.