April 26, 2022

Washing machine buzzing away downstairs. . . .

Picking up a theme begun yesterday, it was the day of the most concentrated physical labor I’ve had since the Pandemic began, yet I never remember being winded, and came away from it all with no particular sense of exhaustion. My foot hurt pretty bad, but maybe that drew my concentration from other debilities. 

Vestry last night. Financial crisis. I am of the “tread water, it will be OK” school of thought, not a popular position in that venue, though experience with the Market is the source for my complacency. The vestry experience has been enlightening to me. Probably I would have come to the same conclusions had I been more active with the politics of the university. Perhaps I was NOT more active there because I intuited my limitations. I can be a leader at certain times- I am a good kicker in of doors, basher down of walls, igniter. But I am not systematic. Somebody will present a necessary action, and I will agree with the necessity, while having no clue how to make it happen. We need to have an active Stewardship Committee. I agree. How to make one, though? The hand that wants to volunteer lies still in my lap because I wouldn’t know where to begin. Learning by doing may delay or damage. I think back on my organizational activities and see their ongoing likeness– I have run a gallery, a theater company, a publishing house, all without any sort of plan whatever, plunging in, facing problems as they arose, relying on inspiration and good intentions. I can be Thor but I cannot be Odin. This carries through in my life in the arts. I never drew a preliminary sketch. I never made an outline.