Teetotaling

 

July 18, 2021

Exceptionally near miss from an agent. I contemplated the betrayal and took to my bed. 

Now, misty, intermittent rain, one of my favorite times for writing. Hammering away at the Thanksgiving play for a theater in New York. It is the hardest slog I remember in a while, every inch fought for. 

First rehearsal of the Cathedral choir, and the next day first rehearsal of AGMC. All the things that infuriated me about AGMC reasserted themselves at the rehearsal, but somehow I was not infuriated. Maybe retirement and the relative tranquility of the pandemic set the tossing waves of disappointment farther away from shore. Affectionate re-acquaintance with some of my fellow singers, renewed mutual disdain between those who have armored themselves with that. Too many things stand between us and excellent musical performance, but perhaps we might have some fun. 

Coffee at a new place off Old Lyman with K and G, the playwright of Kore. I got to ask “Why the hell do you pronounce it CORE?” and her answer was that she had never given it a thought, just assuming it was some metaphor for “core of being.” It was good to get that off my chest. Good also was the three-way conversation we had about theater. Complex, meandering, fulfilling, smart women with perspectives tantalizingly different from my own. I missed learned conversation from such remoteness that I didn’t even realize I missed it. None of the people I normally socialize with have any interest in talking about things close to my heart, so I forget there are other people in the world. I should get out of my house and find them. Yes, yes, when all the work is done. 

Nine days since my last drink of alcohol. No change in sleep; no change in waking. The effect is essentially nothing, which leads me to wonder whether I should bother. The weight loss possibility must still be investigated.