July 14, 2021

Second visit to the Y, this time to Woodfin. Oddly not sore. Return to rehearsal at All Souls. Wayside afterwards, which I normally love, but which was inexplicably irritating to me. I think I’ve lived with my own thoughts so long that those of others seem jarring and trivial, especially when they are getting drunk and I am not. Have not had alcohol since Friday afternoon (This is Sunday night). This is not a great life choice, but something I wondered at. On some nights I would have a bottle of wine and a cocktail or two, though often not nearly that much. I like drinking. I like alcohol. I like staggering to bed almost too drunk to walk. But could I stop? Is all that alcohol keeping me from losing weight, even though I eat less than I would have thought possible for a grown man? The second question remains unanswered, but the answer to the first is “yes.” Never even missed it, except as an activity. I got into the habit of drinking before bed, and that seems a necessity, but the drink doesn’t have to be alcoholic. The last several nights juice or flavored water has done fine. Nor was I tempted tonight at the bar. I may have been better company had I indulged.