October 20, 2018

Dark Saturday morning, silent but for the cats crunching their breakfast downstairs.

Went to the Magnetic last night to see Ghost Lullaby, maybe the most satisfying thing I’ve seen there that I hadn’t written myself, shapely and, as it intended to be, deeply creepy.

Mike T sat in my office testifying to a new life, which involved a conversion, breaking up with his girlfriend (one of those was apparently contingent upon the other), and a fresh view of Creation. Such exuberance, one thought at one moment. Such near-hysteria, one thought at another moment. But part of the confession was to tell me he loved me because I had done good in his life, so I shall let it all ride on that. It must have built up for a while, as he talked very fast for more than an hour. I hope I retain what I was meant to retain. I couldn’t quite figure out what was the matter with his girlfriend, since she is a Christian too. It was clear in is mind. He quotes his religious advisers. They seem very stringent to me, like prophets or Apostles rather than modern people. He believes it is what he needs right now. More than once I have thought it– some focused and unyielding path-- was what I need right now. Never found a master I could follow who wanted to be followed.

Good day in the studio. Painted a picture I didn’t expect to paint. Lost my temper when no visitors made it into my studio, came home.