October 17, 2018

I watch the society of the department whirl around me. I am now the old man, and the kids respect me without including me. It’s lonely, but so to be expected that nothing can be said. They are more corporate and attentive to the rules than we used to be, climbing their way up the committee ladders. This does not seem to have paved our way within the institution.  We’re seriously underhanded and can teach no electives, but our hiring requests keep getting turned down. I think sometimes I did everything wrong in connection to the university. In this I seem to have been following a plan laid for me when I arrived. “This one is special.” Perhaps I was. Perhaps I wasn’t.