April 22, 2015


 Earth Day. Cold and bright. Two tree peonies in bloom, white and pink.

Student panic attenuates my patience. I could make a recording: “if you had done it when you were supposed to have done it, you wouldn’t have this problem.”

Attended the “Lavender Graduation” for gay boys and girls. I sneer at people who spend too much energy worrying about whether they’re being fully “themselves," even while recognizing that NOT being myself wrecked my childhood and youth in ways imponderable.  Yet it made me mighty in the ways of concealment. That is a blessing one doesn’t think to ask until it’s too late. Perhaps, all in all, I was lucky.

Drove to the Native Plants farm in Barnardsville. Turns out to be almost all azaleas, which I, inexplicably, don’t like.  Bought two Canada lilies so the trip wouldn’t be wasted.