March 21, 2015

Mozart’s Idomeneo on the CD, in honor of its mention in the play. The disks were ruined by the separation foam having disintegrated onto them. So much for that.

Saw a rat padding in my shade garden. I suppose it’s attracted by the dumpster at the apartments.  A rat among the ferns is different from a rat coming out of the sewer.

Another blue agate day.

My longing for a peach tree was not overcome by the problem of where to put it. I bought it and found a place for it. All morning digging and planting and watering.  Purple pansies for the flower boxes, where there were yellow last year. My muscles burn and tingle.

Zach gave me stretches and exercises designed to redress the perpetual pain and weakness in my shoulders. We both think it’s a matter of carriage rather than injury. Since our session I have been mindful of CONSTANTLY hunching forward, as if in a gesture of protection. I can barely lie on the floor with my shoulders and elbows flat. I know the things I am protecting myself from, but since the hunched posture doesn’t actually protect me, I might as well give it up. Occasional but intense muscle spasms make me afraid of using my abdominals, so getting up from the floor becomes an unsightly ordeal of crawling and levering. Must try to have as little wrong with me as possible as the years advance.

Good show last night. John so kind he offers to fetch my cape when I bitch about having to get up and get it. What kind of life have I lead that I don’t know how to react to kindness?