October 22, 2012

Woke wrong, neither rested fully nor spent enough still to sleep. I’d gone to bed quite early, so maybe I was trying too hard. Woke to a terrible dream. There had been a long war between me and a monster which took various forms, and I had to overcome it in each form. I ran home to Ohio and was living in my old house, and it came there and took the form of a teddy bear. I had to fight the teddy bear. I almost lost, and was lying in the front seat of a car  beside the ruins of it, when I looked over to see it was getting itself back together. A narrator’s voice came on and said, “The thing was getting healthy again before his eyes.” I grabbed the reconstituting teddy bear and slammed it to the garage floor, praying, “O Lord, let this one thing die forever!” Of course I woke trying to figure out what one thing in the light I meant. The list of potentials is too long.

Turbulent Cantaria rehearsal, many things in many directions. RH, a former student from Phillips Exeter, of all improbable things, has joined the group. He was part of my inner circle there. I haven’t had the chance to ask him how he got here. He was Harvard-bound the last I knew, and then was living in New York. The man the boy grew into is very plausible. I could see the one in the other the minute he identified himself.