June 26, 2008

Brief, swift rain, enough to ruin the front seats of cars whose windows were left open.

DJ and I drove to the North Carolina Zoo in Ashboro yesterday. It was meant as a sort of vacation, but is itself a rather grueling undertaking, especially if you set your mind on seeing everything. Ocelots, giraffes, the vivid-bottomed baboons, rhinos asleep and at peace in the shade of great trees. A whole heard of Spanish-speaking kids trying. English like "black bear" and "bison" in their mouths.

Have managed not to think of dad in ways that would make me sad, but rather in ways that bring on happy recollection. It is a strange thing, though, for all the tastes and interests and hobbies and idiosyncracies of an individual suddenly to come to nothing. It’s like a great tree falling in the forest, feeding all its resources back into the ground, becoming raw materials again. The plans he made for his end, some things strangely emphasized, something strangely shrugged off, are so like him, and like no other plans will be again.

Cast as Touchstone in As You Like It. I thought it was odd casting, but I resolved to do it, so as not to spend all the summer evenings in front of the DVD player. I told the director I thought it was odd casting, and she said, "Well, when you’re casting for a clown you don’t necessarily cast the silliest person who shows up."