March 4, 2020

The new affliction had been an unsettling feeling like a fullness or weight in my chest, like something was building up which wanted to break free. It affected my breathing, my stamina, my tranquility. In defiance, I went to the Y today and worked out as hard as I could, and while I was on the pectoral machine, I felt something break free, gently but palpably, and with that sensation came a rush of air into my lungs such as I had not enjoyed in weeks. I sat on the machine and breathed and breathed. I got up and raced on the cross-trainer. Can one’s blood iron suddenly be all right? Was it something else? In any case, I am full of the most electric enthusiasm for things I dreaded before. I am ready to expand rather than face the long contraction I envisioned for my years. Feeling good makes more difference than one imagines.