March 14, 2020

Home, still dark outside, Maud on my foot, purring. She hollered at me for ten minutes when I came through the door, angry at my having left her. We cuddled in front of the TV until she was satisfied. Maria left a photograph of Circe cuddling with Alden when he was a baby. Unpacking is far more irritating than packing, and more likely to be left for later. I’m trying to think of what to say about this sojourn in Ireland, I don’t even know the humber of which by now. Too sad and not sad at all. A terminus and a bridge.

Had such pleasure the last night from Stephen and his friend Conner. Will have to find some way to remain in the company of young men.

Rich brought me soil and fertilizer for my roses. I don’t know why. When I approached him he moved back, saying he had to keep six feet from everybody. He has to live because his lover would be a pauper if he died.

Went to Ingle’s, where every aisle was filled with suppliers restocking the shelves, and where potatoes and onions–alone, so far as I could see–were vanished. Bought what I needed, which wasn’t much. Why I came home with two jars of peanut butter cannot be fathomed.

Attended the gala intro to the Magnetic Theater season, which had not been called off. Everyone was proud of themselves for appearing in public. Daithi was there, and I told him–as I did three years ago-that I had gone to his theater on Essex Street. I did not add “for your sake.” He said, “you look different from before.” I waited. “Happier,” he said, “You look happier.” A tight bluegrass band played. The dulcimer player tuned loudly and talked on his phone while others were trying to speak onstage. The tastes of the theater lean more and more to the silly. The Christmas show is a dramatization of the movie, Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. One wonders how one can conceivably fit in. The play she favors next of mine is the worst one I have available, recommended to her taste by being somewhat rollicking.  One moves forward, hacking the tangles away with machetes of the spirit.