January 28, 2019

Good class on Pepys. They forgave him his boyishness, as some classes have not.

Maud and Circe have returned to their old ways, hiding in the old places, seeking the old indulgences, cuddling the old cuddles. When I think that the changes in their behavior– which made them miserable and me discouraged for months-- were probably brought on by fleas, a condition which I noted but did not dedicate myself to addressing, I become frantic with impatience at myself. It’s true that I associated taking a cat to the vet with being told she had some horrible terminal disease, but it was not so in this case, and I was a coward not to put it to the test. I took Circe to the vet to have her put to sleep, because I couldn’t stand her behavior anymore. The vet saved her. I apologize every day. I think she has forgiven me. I don’t know what lesson is in this, except to try no to assume the worst thing first. Actually, now that I’ve written it, that is good advice for the whole of my life.

The evening is an odd green-gray. Meant to be mortal cold tomorrow.