October 1, 2013


I feel like I’m already wayfaring; my table computer is far away getting scrubbed of viruses and invaders, and I’m using my travel computer, which looks miniature and forlorn in the middle of my vast desk. Yesterday was one of those days so full of crosses and problems and frustration that it might have been comic were it happening on a movie screen. One goes on, forgetting why, grateful for ingrained and stupid habit. Two agents requested Wyona, and I had to warn them afterwards not to look at the attachments, as my computer may have been compromised. I sensed their interest ebbing away across the miles. It is too hard. It’s a comic opera where the tunes are tired and the jokes aren’t funny.

Fought off sobs teaching Yeats today. I say that one teaches in order to learn, and it s true. I found myself fitting one more piece into the vast, unfinished dome, moved almost to the point of silence. Perhaps I should let go one day, and let them see the true and final effect of poetry.

Got a Thai massage; lying on a mattress on the floor reminded me of graduate school, my little room overlooking Syracuse, my much-visited second hand mattress.