November 23, 2011

Titus rooted out my wolf spider from wherever he was hiding. They were nose-to-chitin for a moment, but then decided on mutual toleration. The spider draws his legs in and compacts himself, once in a while, to something resembling a clod of dirt. I assume this is spider nap-time. I think he’s under my church directory now, but I won’t disturb him by looking. It’s not impossible that he’s the same which used to live in my mailbox, and came in on a piece of mail. Would he rather be outside? Is he happy here? I cannot read arachnid body language. I am amazed, though, by the aura of calm he throws around his tiny self. He is at home in ways that I am not.

TT has been posting sections of the Hyre and Ellet newspapers on line. Apparently I won the superlative “most studious” in junior high. That must have struck me as odd then as it does now. Though I devour texts and facts, it’s not because I’m especially studious. I’m curious, and ravenous. Bought a biography of Van Gogh and, trying to read it, realized how long it has been since I’ve done leisure reading in my own house. There is no space for it that is not in some degree awkward, at least in the evening when artificial light is necessary. Read in cafes, on the fly, from my Kindle on the treadmill, in airports, often for weeks on end not at all, not anything that can be called recreational. My bookwormishness as a child filled my quota, perhaps. Did go to the studio, where I painted well and large. Doing things replaced readings things before I was quite a man. Reading seems a neglected friend now, who must be cajoled back into my life.

Ten pages into the Van Gogh bio I’m reminded that Calvin is number one on the list of people whose memory and influence I would cleanse from the world. The reference?: “What is not a duty is a sin.” Mao is on the list, and several minor figures whose influence is not so wide or deep that they must be weighed for all consequences, as must vaster figures who, initially, cry out for inclusion, Hitler and Cromwell and the like.