September 7, 2007

Can’t remember drinking enough last night to make me feel like this in the morning. Thursdays turn out to be my big day this semester, and by the time the last hour of choir practice had come along, I was watching the clock, wondering how I could sing another note. I don’t often get tired enough to get grumpy, so I didn’t actually know that I get grumpy when I get tired. No cocktails at Usual for me, but straight home and all but straight to bed. Woke still tired, so maybe my labors continued in the unconscious realm.

Melody suggested that I join University Chorus for Carmina Burana, and I thought I would, and was happy, despite the usual misgivings, to be again in the midst of that friendly, chaotic energy. Some conviction of reserve keeps me from participating fully in the vitality of my students– I think I’ll make them self-conscious or steer them some way they wouldn’t have gone on their own–but perhaps I overestimate my influence, and I should drink from this cup as often as it is offered. On some days it is the only thing that is not depressing or exhausting.