September 12, 2019

Planted the rest of the iris order, putting allium in around them for a pleasing effect. Cleaned the pond drain.

Played tapes of 9-11 for my class yesterday. I suppose it is remote to them, but it was immediate and heartbreaking to me.

Wednesday was also a day of student upheaval.  S came to my office saying she needed me to talk to me, “just keep talking” because she was about to “freak out.” That went on until it was time to go to class. She brought her gear to class, but immediately left. An alarm in her backpack went off every five minutes. After the third student got up to wander around during a 75 minute class, I remarked on it and the response was, “are we really expected to sit that long?” I realized that no one in their lives had suggested to them they ought to do something they did not want to do, that some sacrifice of immediate will might lead to greater reward. Simply not part of the picture. Their parents have been helicoptering over them to insure they are never crossed or rerouted in any way. When class ended, S sat in the office tormenting poor Wren. “I’m afraid something is wrong with my cats!” cries she. “Your cats are fine,” says I. “How can you be sure?” Says I, “I just am.” I offered to drive her home or escort her to the health center, but she preferred to sit there “freaking out.” I am the wrong person to come to when you’re “freaking out,” because after I’ve offered a few solutions and you still intend to take the dive, I hear myself thinking, “Oh, straighten up. Stop it.” Today’s student does not recognize any special place outside of their daily drama, where their daily drama should be suspended or sidelined for an hour or two. Class was holy to us. If you were going to have a fit, you would do so outside, before, after, when the lights were back on you. Am I being unsympathetic? I suppose I am, admitting that, in a life sometimes as terrible as any other’s, I have managed not to disrupt anything important to other peoples’ lives. I feel anyone could achieve that much. We have a generation that does not know how to be told “no.”